Roll With It!

Jan 25, 2022

I (Jay) am a control freak.  I can admit it, I love standing in front of an audience. I make them laugh, I make them cry. I control what is taking place in the auditorium.  Unfortunately, that does not translate well into everyday life.


Growing up I can remember my mom repeatedly telling me to “roll with it, there are simply some things you cannot change.”  Well, multiple decades later, I still resist the idea to “roll with it”. 


Since the onset of the pandemic life has been in constant flux, however over the last 10 months we’ve seen personal plans change because of Covid infections, Covid shutdowns, gallbladder surgery and changes to holiday plans. This control freak has had to learn to adapt!  I am happy to share with you 4 actions even a control freak can take to help when life doesn’t go quite as planned.


R - Resist Retaliation

My first reaction when things don’t go my way is to dig in my heels and resist the change.  Years ago we’d take teens white water rafting in Colorado. The guides always taught us that if we fall out of the boat to float on our back and go with the flow of the river.  Fighting the current will only wear you out. The same is true when we resist change in our lives.

O - Organize Options

I tend to catastrophize events in life.  They are either GREAT or AWFUL!  The reality is there are many options “in between”.  If you have trouble looking at your options, find a trusted friend who will help you see that there are many doors open for you to walk through. I am blessed (in many ways) to be married to a wise woman who can talk me off the edge and help me see the many different open doors.

L - Legitimate Looks

While there are many open doors in front of you when life doesn’t go your way, know full well that there are two options: legitimate ones and those that are ridiculous.  For example, during the pandemic, I have thought many (ok hundreds of) times about what I would do for a living if the speaking circuit “dried up”. One dream of mine has always been to play on the PGA tour.  Ever since I was a chaplain for the PGA, I thought of how great it would be to tee it up on tour.  Is that a Legitimate Look?  No, you see I don’t have enough talent to make that happen, but there are many other opportunities that would be legitimate.

L - Logical Lane

After you Organize your Options and take a Legitimate Look at those options, the next step in order to “roll with it”,  is to look at the Logical Lane.  What is the most logical option for me to pursue right now.  For us when the pandemic hit it was to take our message to the digital world.  While yes I still love live events the most, doing marriage education online is the Logical Lane to choose.  Has it been easy, NO!  In fact just the opposite, but I have learned that when you “‘Roll with it” you can still pursue the dreams and aspirations you hold in your heart!


So calling all control freaks….”Roll with it”!

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