Building Boundaries for a Stronger Marriage!

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Creating boundaries can be a powerful tool for you and your spouse and can protect your time together and prioritize your relationship. Boundaries can help ensure that work or other commitments do not encroach on personal time, allowing for dedicated moments of connection and quality time. Boundaries allow you to establish mutual expectations and communicate your needs effectively. By defining boundaries, you and your spouse can find a healthy balance between your individual responsibilities and your commitment to nurturing your marriage, ultimately reducing stress and fostering a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.


When it comes to navigating a busy life and marriage, there are three necessary boundaries that you and your spouse should consider creating:

  1. Time for Each Other: Set aside dedicated time for each other that is free from distractions. This could mean establishing a regular date night, where both of you commit to spending quality time together without interruptions from work, kids, technology, or other obligations. By creating this boundary, you can prioritize your connection and strengthen your marriage.

    This is an easy boundary for us to the summer! We love to have a golf date on a weekly basis. It is a bit more difficult in the winter, when golf is not available here in snowy Michigan. We have to work really hard at setting aside a weekly lunch or dinner date. At those dates, we set aside our phones so we can focus on each other, and work really hard not to discuss kids or work!
  2. Work-Life Balance: Establish boundaries between work and personal life to maintain a healthy balance. Determine specific times when work-related activities are off-limits, such as avoiding checking emails or taking work calls during evenings or weekends. This separation allows you to focus on your relationship and recharge together, promoting overall well-being and reducing work-related stress.

    When we first moved our office to our home, it was great! We could stay in our pajamas all day, drink coffee until dinner time, and no traffic on our commute up the stairs! What we didn't realize was how much more we were working because we never left the "office". We had to create a boundary for leaving the "office" upstairs. At the end of every work day, or at the latest 5 pm., we shut the office door and didn't open it again until the next morning at 9 am. This allowed us the time we needed as a couple and as a family without the "office" interfering.
  3.  Personal Space: Recognize the importance of individual  personal space within the marriage. Encourage each other to pursue hobbies, engage in activities that bring joy and relaxation, and carve out time for personal reflection. Respecting and supporting each other's need for personal space fosters emotional well-being, which can positively impact the relationship as a whole.

 Because we work together, eat together, sleep together, exercise basically    everything together, this one is a hard boundary for us! It is not hard to let each other pursue hobbies, or have personal space; we just tend to do everything together! Even as I write this blog, I am at home and Jay is playing in a golf tournament with some friends. Last night, we were laughing at how weird it was going to be to have a day without seeing each other! 


By establishing these three essential boundaries - dedicated time for each other, a healthy work-life balance, and respect for personal space - you and your spouse can create a framework that supports your marriage amidst a busy lifestyle. These boundaries promote open communication, nurture the relationship, and allow each of you to maintain your individuality while also fostering a strong, harmonious marriage.


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