What do Men want?
(And How to Give it Without Losing Yourself)
You’re not the only one wondering.
We asked. They answered.
Now we are giving you the tools to reconnect!
THERE IS HOPE
What Men Want
But Don't Say
A Guide for rediscovering your man and your marriage
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, "What does he even want from me anymore?" — you’re not alone. After decades in marriage ministry and thousands of honest conversations with couples, we’ve learned something surprising: what men want isn’t complicated... but it’s rarely spoken.
This guide is here to change that. It’s not about changing you — it’s about understanding him.
Whether you're in a season of disconnection or just want to deepen your bond, you'll find hope, truth, and simple tools to help you reconnect with the man you love.
Yes, It Really Is Possible!
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You don’t have to become a different woman to build a different marriage.
You just need a few tools, a little truth, and the willingness to show up again.
What men want...
but don't say
Part 1
WHAT MEN SECRETLY WANT
1. Respect Over Romance
Most men would rather feel respected than adored. When a man feels believed in, trusted, and affirmed, he opens up. Simple changes like asking for his opinion or acknowledging his efforts go a long way.
2. Peace Over Perfection
Men crave a safe space to land. They don't need a spotless house or gourmet meals, but they long for emotional peace — a soft place to land after the world beats them up. Encouragement over criticism makes all the difference.
3. Purpose Over Performance
Deep down, your husband wants to be your hero. He wants to feel like his presence makes a difference. Let him know that his efforts matter — even if they fall short sometimes.
4. Connection Over Conversation
Yes, men need communication, but not always through long talks. For many husbands, connection looks like sitting together, holding hands, doing something side by side. It doesn’t have to be deep to be meaningful.
5. Intimacy Over Initiation
Physical affection is not just about sex; it's about being desired. When a wife initiates or responds warmly, it affirms his masculinity and builds emotional closeness.
Part 2
HOW TO GIVE HIM WHAT HE NEEDS (WITHOUT LOSING YOURSELF)
1. Speak Respect Fluently
Use words like, “I trust you,” “That was a great idea,” or “Thank you for working so hard.” They speak louder than love notes.
2. Create Emotional Calm
Avoid dumping stress the moment he walks in. Create a short window of calm together. Even 10 minutes can reset the mood.
3. Call Out His Strengths
Even if he seems checked out, look for one thing to affirm. A compliment on how he handled the kids or fixed something goes miles.
4. Touch First, Talk Later
A hug. A hand on the shoulder. A kiss on the cheek. These build bridges. Often, touch unlocks talk.
5. Let Him Lead Something
Ask for his opinion. Invite him to solve a problem. Let him make a plan. Giving him space to lead builds his confidence and connection.
Part 3
WHAT HE WISHES HE COULD TELL YOU
“I’m not good at this, but I’m trying.”
“I need you to believe in me, even when I mess up.”
“Your respect means more than you know.”
“I still want you. I just don’t know how to show it anymore.”
“Please don’t give up on us.”
Let those words sink in. Not every man will say them. But many feel them.
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GET MORE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!
 Understand his unspoken needs, rekindle connection, and build a marriage worth modeling—without becoming someone you're not.
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